Your words could come to define someone. At least most of who that someone is. The vice verse is also true. You could come to be defined by someone else, sometimes even without you realizing it.
Let me give you a personal example.
As a child, every time I had some exams or competitions to participate in, my mom would wish me ‘All the best’. She still does. For one such occasion, I asked her to wish me ‘Best of Luck’ as was the popular custom back in school. Pat came the response: “I wish you ‘All the best’ not ‘Best of luck’ because I want YOU to do well.”
That was one of THE defining moments in my life. That day, she showed me the way to becoming an internally focused person rather than an externally focused person. To not wait for luck to show up but to go do my best and create my own future. To take control, to accept responsibility. It was as simple as the decision to choose a different set of three words from the rest of the crowd.
Indirectly, it also built a healthy respect for myself and faith in the ability to outdo myself. Even when encountering failures, I have felt the pain of loss but never have I felt like a loser. I knew I had done my best, there was nothing I could have done further at that time. Now when I look back into my past, many a turning points in my life have been guided by these simple words ‘All the best’.
Words have the power not just to build character and create magic but also to break hearts and destroy lives. Hence, we must be wary of our tongue. We impact people inadvertently by virtue of our interactions with them, whether we like it or not. So why not do it deliberately to positively effect change.
The famous motivational speaker, Mr. Jim Rohn once said ‘Influence is powerful. Influence is subtle.’ What subtle messages are we sending out to others? What kind of influence are our words making in others lives? Are our beings being shaped by bitter words and negative experiences?
The idea is simple:
- Use more positive words in your vocabulary (verbal and nonverbal)
- Avoid negative words from your vocabulary (verbal and nonverbal)
- Appreciate those positive influences around you. Show your gratitude to those people.
- Distance yourself from the negative influences, but not from the people themselves.
Below are a few guidelines that have helped me resist uttering words of discouragement and negativity.
- Never use strong words such as ‘hate’, ‘guilty’, ‘die’ etc unless you really mean them.
- Never ever use dehumanizing words to address human beings no matter how rude and vicious that person may be.
- No matter how intense your feelings are, there are better and more effective ways to express yourself without resorting to profanity.
- Communicate with sincerity coupled with compassion.
“In the beginning was the Word,
and the Word was with God,
and the Word was God.”
John 1:1, The Bible
Lets put God back where he/she truly belongs, not in temples, mosques or churches but in our everyday words, reflected in our daily actions and shining in lives we come across.